Overcoming The Pull Of My Phone

Recently, I came across a quote by Jessica Seinfeld that made me take a hard, honest look at myself (and my phone addiction!)
phone addiction
Wow.  How many times have I been guilty of this one? My first reaction was to rationalize it by thinking “I’m a blogger…my business is my phone, and social media!”  But the reality is that I had a phone addiction long before I started blogging. Over the years, my phone has become a sort of social armor that I hide behind in situations when I’m bored, feeling uncomfortable, or just don’t know what else I should be doing! Dull moment in a restaurant? Time to check Facebook! Stuck on documentation at work? Time to scroll through my Instagram feed! When I get together with friends or coworkers, I’m often scrolling through my phone to show them the latest pictures of Bella…all without considering how rude it comes across. ?

It Snuck Up On Me…

My phone has replaced so many things that made me, me! I have always loved reading, and I would look forward to going to the library and returning home with a stack of 5-10 new books to read. Payday Friday always came with the added treat of a trip to Barnes & Noble to purchase the latest suspense thriller.  Now, I just download every book through iBooks. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but it’s amazing how quickly my phone replaced longstanding traditions in my life, all without my noticing! The same can be said about my phone camera. I was on vacation recently, and looking back, I realize I spent the entire trip with my phone raised, taking photos. Again, nothing wrong with this, but I’m realizing that I spend more time curating moments than actually living them. 

phone addiction So Socialites, I’ve decided that I’m going to take back some of my power that I’ve lost through my phone. I’m going to fill awkward silences with caring conversation, and encourage others to do the same. I’m going to join my daughter in all of her adorable moments, instead of just racing to film them. I’m going to be the example for my daughter that there is more to life than the phone! Care to join me? I’m sharing 4 of the methods I’m using to break my phone addiction!

phone addiction

Breaking The Addiction

1. Phone Face Down

This is the simplest trick. If my phone is in my hands, my lap, or my pocket, I’m going to end up using it and scrolling through Instagram for an hour. They key is to keep your phone away from you, and facing down. Turning off your notifications also helps!

2. A Little Distance

This piggybacks off the 1st tip, but I find this one to be very effective. When I get home from work, I like to relax in my recliner and veg out. If my phone is right next to me, it’s easy for me to get stuck in this chair for hours. By putting my phone on the other side of the wrong, I would have to keep getting up over and over to check it, and that gets tiresome quickly. Distance between yourself and your phone means that you won’t grab it unless absolutely needed!

3. Make One Meal A “No Phone Zone”Since I’m nice, I’m not even going to be hardcore and state that all meals have to be phone free. The point is to start small and work up. Choose 1 meal where no phone use is allowed. This could be breakfast, where you enjoy some unplugged time before work. It could be lunch, where you can actually disconnect from the cares of the workday. Or it could be dinner, where you can pay full undivided attention to your friends or family.

4. Ditch The Phone An Hour Before Bed

We’ve all read this one. Apparently, the blue light of your phone disrupts circadian rhythms and diminishes the quality of your sleep. This is the hardest for me because I love to scroll through IG and Facebook while I’m lying in bed, but it’s not healthy to fall asleep in the middle of using your phone. Not only can you clunk yourself in the head or eye (it’s happened to me many a time!), but your phone can overheat or overcharge. It’s better to put down the phone an hour before bed, and drift off slowly!

I know that the phone is an important part of our lives, and I hope I haven’t stepped on anyone’s toes, because I am just taking inventory of things that I need to do for me to overcome my phone addiction. But I invite you to join me in this #breakupwithmyphone moment! Let’s make #phonefacedown a thing! Leave me a comment below. ??

See ya next time!

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About

Fashion, Lifestyle, and Travel blogger, based in NC.

69 comments

  1. its so hard – i try to leave my phone in my purse while at dinners, if i do need it out i turn it over! but it does suck that we have to be on our phone to stay relevant in this business!

    1. TheSuburbanSocialite

      It is hard! I expect it will be a slow process! ?

  2. I am a phone addict to ! I still found myself turning my phone back on it’s front so I have to keep it in my bag ! You are right it is an important part of business but we do need breaks from them to give our eyes rest if anything !

    1. TheSuburbanSocialite

      I am such an addict! It’s funny that you mentioned about giving our eyes a break. I just read an article about how the phone lights disrupt our Melatonin production, which in turn affects how we sleep.

    1. TheSuburbanSocialite

      Thank you so much for reading!

  3. I completely agree. It’s one thing to keep your phone handy in case of emergency, but checking it constantly when you’re out with friends is my biggest pet peeve. Pay attention to the people around you! When I go home to my parents’ house, I normally turn it off for my entire stay.

    1. TheSuburbanSocialite

      That’s what motivated me to think more about my actions; I would hate to be someone’s pet peeve! Thanks so much for reading!

  4. Oh man this is a hard one! I am a phone addict myself. I do however have a rule that at the dinner table we don’t pull out our phones, lol. Baby steps for me.

    1. TheSuburbanSocialite

      I’m taking the baby steps too! We’ll do it together!

  5. I was thinking I was the only one addicted to phone, nice tips though I was actually forced to share this on my fb timeline

    1. TheSuburbanSocialite

      No, you are not alone in this fight! LOL. Thank you so much for reading, and for sharing!

      1. U are welcome

  6. I’m exactly the same, even though I don’t want to I’m constantly looking at my phone, mind numbingly pulling my emails down every ten minutes to see if I received anything new. It’s so funny that you came up with #phonefacedown – when I don’t want to be disturbed whilst I’m watching something I do this, but I can never resist turning it up to check every now and then.

    1. TheSuburbanSocialite

      I agree! It is sooo hard to put the phone down! I’m the same way with Instagram, as you are with emails. Yes to #phonefacedown…I hope it works for me! Thanks for reading!

  7. yep i’m a phone addict too! My boyfriend HATES it if i pull my phone out during anytime but work time lol I’m one of those people who will hold their phone in their hand n just swipe for no reason , even when there’s nothing going on in my phone haha

  8. this is as real as it gets! we all tend to get glued on our phones once we touch it first!

    Courtney Bentley || http://www.starsystemz.com

  9. It is so easy to just chalk it up to, “this is my job,” but you are 100% right. I am also guilty of realizing that I have given up other hobbies without knowing it simply because I’ve been so distracted by my phone.

  10. I’m totally a phone addict! This is a great post! It’s a hard habit to break especially as a blogger! xo Jana | http://www.janastyleblog.com

  11. Oh this is so me. I need to stop and remember to be more present esp with my kids… its so easy to just whip out the phone and check it when they are serving me another pretend meal. thanks for the reminder!

  12. I totally got rid of my cell phone a few years ago. It seemed I was always on it. Now I look at my children toting their phones with them I believe the pull on them is very strong

  13. great article. i know i have to be so conscious when around my kids to put my phone down

  14. Oh this is so relateable. I am so guilty of doing the same! We need to reclaim our power and become more present in the moment. I am definitely joining you on the #phonefacedown!
    Thanks for the inspiration 🙂

  15. I am right there with you!! What happen to the good ole times?
    Delayna
    http://www.delaynadenaye.com

  16. This is a habit that I have been trying to break! I turn all notifications off to help, but I still find myself checking my phone way too often. This is a great read, thanks!

  17. Good for you! I’m someone who always checks my phone at the door around friends and family. I only pull it out after everyone else has and I make a comment and they all continue to do their scroll. I find it’s so nice to actually be in the moment and capture them for memory rather than viewing them through a phone otherwise you miss some of the magic that makes life life <3

    xo Jannine | http://www.happystylishfit.com

  18. I’ve gotten better over the years with putting my phone down. I try to be more in the moment now. It’s not easy but it’s defiantly doable.

  19. So So hard to disconnect sometimes, but i think it’s so necessary to take a break once in a while.
    <3 Mindy
    http://www.threadsnbreads.com/

  20. We could all afford to put the phones down more often. We need to live fully in the moment, not taking pictures and texting all the time.

  21. Oh wow. You read my mind. I just commented on another blogger’s post about how my phone is always in my hand. I can’t blame social media for the past 3 months but prior to that it was my 9-5 job. You are now the 3rd person who’s saying the same thing and it can’t be coincidence. So there’s a definite need for change. Thanks for sharing this.

  22. I’ve been trying to do this for the past months and one of ways that helped me put my phone down was I installed some of the apps lol! Hopefully I can stop this addiction before the year ends.

  23. Oh my goodness, I needed to hear this today. As a business owner I am constantly glued to my phone, not only is it bad for my health and well-being, it is so detrimental to my relationships. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  24. Great post! I very congnisant of the amount of time I spend on my phone and often hate how much it’s needed for my job. Working constantly to improve the amount of time spent on it.
    – Christine

  25. I wish you all the best! I need to be less reliant on my phone but I am not ready to do the breakup just yet!

  26. I definitely need to do the same thing! Good luck to you!

  27. ha, one of my biggest pet peeves with people. Listen, especially as a blogger, if we’re always on our phones, we’re not going to have anything to blog about! I keep a strict schedule for my “social media time”, and then just forget about it when I go out.

  28. That Jessica Seinfeld quote is awesome. I try very hard to leave my phone in my bag and not use it. I usually only allow myself to use it for the camera and using a lens makes it clear to others I’m taking pictures.

  29. I am suggesting to my boyfriend a day of the weekend where we do not go on our phones! A detox is necessary so we start enjoying life more!!

  30. I have a confession. I’m addicted to my phone. I seriously would get lost without it. I even pull it out in class, that’s how bad it is. Gosh I need to put my phone away. Eye-opening post thanks.

  31. Nice article! I can see everyone is able to relate it to themselves (ha..ha.). But if you can actually spent a whole day without your phone you will see that it is not really an addiction. All you need to do is just pay little more attention to other things around you. If we can actually pay attention to everything that is happening in the nature, you will see there are too many things to get engrossed with. It’s a gadget after all to make things easy for us, we don’t have to get addicted! Right ? 🙂 Having said all this I agree it’s a big addiction and I have it too….LOL We must get rid of this habit. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on it. A very well written article 🙂 Enjoyed it

  32. I so get caught up in the “this is my job” mindset and spend way too much time on my phone – I need to stop justifying it and just put it away at times!

  33. First, amazing name for a blog. And second I so agree. I have a love hate relationship with my phone. It causes me anxiety, but then I can’t get away from me. I do make an effort to “facedown in the evening after I do my blog check ins

  34. Phones and social medias are things society today just can’t leave without. It’s a common disease everyone has. I totally agree with you that there’s more to life than phone. It’s time for a phone detox!

  35. Wow, I have never heard about that tip “Don’t ever be the first person in your group to take out your phone.” Thank you for sharing.

  36. I thought I was addicted to my phone but I recently started a new job where you aren’t allowed to have your phone out on your desk. I was dubious at first but it really has helped me not pull my phone out at every opportunity, both in the workplace and at home.

  37. Haha awesome post. I am always so conscious of being the first one to check my phone. I’t sjust so hard when my whole life *is* on my phone! I can’t help it!

  38. I love this! This is something I try to do more, and I wish more people did! Have a good day 🙂

  39. Blogging and contently prompting i sometimes feel i am a slave to my phone…but weekends I try to put is away.

  40. We have become a society of digital, we have forgotten how to be human, have real-life social conversations, and just living the moments without having your camera up. It’s sad really. I think we are loosing a lot. (Myself included!) Been to bali recently, on my honeymoon, and for the first time, in a very long time, I feel I was able to absorb all the goodness it had to offer, because I was not stressing about getting the next best shot! It was a wonderful vacation!

  41. I could say I’m a phone addict too, I cannot live without my phone. I even sleep late because of my phone. but there’s one moment that I try not to use my phone is when I’m with my family.

  42. Excellent post!! We could all use a reminder to be more present and less “social”.

  43. Our age of technology has certainly brought convenience to our lives, but it has also taken over in many respects, as you have articulated so well. When you read stories about people suffering injuries or even death because they weren’t paying attention – they were on their phones and looking down instead of at where they were going or what they were doing – it really is alarming!

  44. What a good idea. I think I miss out on too much, just because Im not looking up and seeing.

  45. I’m not a phone addict and I’m a blogger i hate using phone…. that’s the reason why I’m not able to promote my blogs…
    https://bushrazblogscom.wordpress.com/

  46. I love this so much! People really spend way too much time behind technology and missing out on fully experiencing life.

  47. I’ve experienced not having a phone for two years and I have alternatives which are computer and laptop. I’m still dependent on these technologies. Now that I have my phone here, instead of writing a to-do list on my notebook when there’s an assignment or project given, I take my phone and enlist them on Google Keep! Although when I’m talking to somebody or seeing an epic event I try to use my phone less, which is good! Practice makes perfect, so I hope you get rid of that clinging habit.

  48. Because me ex-husband constantly had his phone out at meals and social situations and I found this rude, I made myself the rule that unless there was some vital need my phone would stay in my bag.

  49. i read a post yesterday that said when our phones were tired .. we were free ! thank you for this wonderful post and excellent reminder.

  50. Dinner is the only time I put my phone down. I need to work harder on putting it down.

  51. I am a phone addict! Especially i do work from phone sometimes. I really can’t lie without a phone. lol!

  52. I am guilty of this and I want to try to do better. This was a really good blog.

  53. Beautifully written, Amber. This is just what I needed to read right now. I’ve realized I’m way too connected to my phone and it’s time to consciously disconnect for some time each day. Thanks for giving me the motiviation to do this!

    Terra
    Fifteen Minutes to Flawless

  54. These is so true. I am phone addicted too because I use it when I make blogs if I do not carry my laptop or when i’m home. And I needed my phone in doing social media chores.

  55. Omg this is super true. I share the same sentiments with you and I even get “kilig” (a Filipino term that means excited or elated) when whoever I’m with isn’t bringing out his/her phone. I feel that our time is really valued, and as for me, I make the conscious effort not to be the first too! Exactly like what you mentioned! 🙂

  56. My phone recently broke and I am waiting for the Iphone X to come out, so this duration is to stay out of social media! I thought I was addicted, but it isn’t as difficult as I thought!

  57. I’m addicted. I sleep with my phone. I need to work on it.

  58. I remember when we didn’t have cell phones. We probably should have stopped at the pager lol. Phones have dumbed down society and yes we are all addicted. I miss rushing home to get that special call. Now I ignore calls and always feel like I don’t have time to myself because someone can always call. Then if you don’t answer they send you a text.

  59. This is really my story now!
    It has been an issue with my hubby that I should stay away from my phone more often. It really a good thing to have breaks from this necessary evil because the adverse effect is huge….strained eyes and all.
    Thanks.

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